You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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