what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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