i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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