The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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