Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
