I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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