batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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