WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
