So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize