fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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