So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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