Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
