O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
