Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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