he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize