I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
