I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The police scanner is talking about you again....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need water and some morals
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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