She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Still dying that you shit outside
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
