Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
