It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
