Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
