did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
