hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize