just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
