plz talk dirty to me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
