Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So vagazzling was a success
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
