my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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