We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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