i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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