Texts From Last Night

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  (649): View more from Turks & Caicos

  So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it

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  (649): So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it http://tfl.nu/3uw7
  Replies (4) Good night (668) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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  (714): OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign http://tfl.nu/7urn
  Replies (9) Good night (1884) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Nice use of current day folklore

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  (952): I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur (612): Nice use of current day folklore http://tfl.nu/cnmj
  Replies (36) Good night (739) Bad night (2722)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus

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  (540): I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus http://tfl.nu/qqxc
  Replies (37) Good night (1139) Bad night (3984) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.

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  (267): i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said. http://tfl.nu/hb96
  Replies (58) Good night (6787) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.

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  (913): he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness. http://tfl.nu/hbrf
  Replies (10) Good night (901) Bad night (4527) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?

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  (469): Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right? http://tfl.nu/axfy
  Replies (9) Good night (832) Bad night (2712) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.

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  (570): I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink. http://tfl.nu/sq0r
  Replies (11) Good night (740) Bad night (3544) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.

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  (850): i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today. http://tfl.nu/xq7h
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (1498) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.

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  (403): Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good. http://tfl.nu/eqb8
  Replies (10) Good night (3133) Bad night (709)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?

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  (248): Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date? http://tfl.nu/49q5
  Replies (13) Good night (2357) Bad night (662)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.

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  (541): I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night. http://tfl.nu/6kn4
  Replies (6) Good night (494) Bad night (766)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  I don't see the problem

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  (807): My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive. (1-807): I don't see the problem http://tfl.nu/s96d
  Replies (5) Good night (1454) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.

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  (580): The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive. http://tfl.nu/8405
  Replies (7) Good night (926) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.

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  (813): I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me. http://tfl.nu/rba0
  Replies (3) Good night (2102) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt

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