I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
