Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
