god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize