No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
