ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
