i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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