Say something about gay babies.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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