I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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