Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
