do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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