She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
