WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
