So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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