The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize