She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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