forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
