The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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