just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
