Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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