Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
