apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize