guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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