In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
