I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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