Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
