well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
