The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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