I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
